No homework excuses

There’s an excuse for everything and we’ll help you find it! Sorry honey, we can’t have sex tonight because I can’t find your penis pump. I did my homework but I didn’t go to school because Sorry honey, no homework excuses can’t have sex tonight because I am sorry officer. Be honest, we all use excuses now and again, those little white lies that help us out when the friend we really don’t want to talk to calls, or last night has meant going to work in the morning is a thought that fills you with dread.

But, sometimes, isn’t it so that the excuses we use are just that little bit too tired? A friend of mine once sent a note to school excusing him from PE lessons, ‘signed’ by his father but written in his own handwriting. And when it comes to homework, what to tell the teacher when you’ve been too busy on the Playstation to get those maths questions done? Ever tried ‘the dog ate my homework? It doesn’t work, even when it is true: my dog did once eat my homework, but I still got a detention and one hundred lines. A better one is to cite some family crisis – a brother or sister in hospital, a granny or aunt on her last legs, for instance. Those are dead certs, believe me, especiailly if your teacher is new, young, and worried.